Stop your child biting Tip Sheet 

When small children bite it can be very embarrassing for parents and once they have done it you can worry that it will happen at anytime in the future. It is especially awkward when you pick your child up from nursery only to be told in front of other parents ‘She has bitten Thomas today’, while Thomas and his mom look at you with a disapproving eye as the teacher shows you the offending mark on Thomas’s arm. Well the truth of it is that it is a pretty normal stage in early childhood development and while not all children take a liking to doing it or have tried it, others can find it a useful way to get attention or their frustration out. The trick as parents is to handle biting so that the unwanted behaviour is not accidentally rewarded with lots of attention, which will increase the likely hood of it happening again.   

How to stop your child from biting;

Use redirection;

You will usually notice a child's frustration building up before they bite another child, this is the time that you can redirect their attention by giving them something else to play with if they can not have the toy that they want.

  1. If you think that they are over tired it stands to reason that this needs to be addressed
  2. If they are having trouble expressing themselves you are going to be able to help them a lot by talking to them at their level to help them to learn what to say. For example, If frustration is building up, say to them you look cross would you like to play with something else. That way they will learn that their feeling is a feeling of being cross and they can help that feeling by doing something else. It will take a while to learn but it may be sooner than you think.
  3. If your child is trying to get your attention you can usually see this because they keep looking at you while they are playing or coming up to you and interrupting what you are doing. If you can see that they want your attention, you will usually find that by stopping what you are doing when they come up to you or going up to them to play with them just for a short time, they will often be off playing again within a minute or two.

If your child is persistently biting, by keeping a watchful eye over what they are doing and intervening before they get to the ‘crunch’, you can prevent it.  If your child is biting persistently at nursery where you can’t do anything about it, personally I would ask staff to keep an extra watchful eye out for reasons that your child may be doing it. They may have a dislike to another child or be reacting to another child’s unwanted behaviour.  Biting happens for a number of reasons, 

  1. Children are frustrated
  2. They may be tried
  3. They can not express themselves  well enough, verbally
  4. They may be trying to get your attention

 Biting is dangerous behaviour and needs to be stopped immediately (see the different types of behaviour in the book).  What we can do about biting Under 18 months If a child under 18 months bites another child, it is important to stop it straight away, then to move them away from the other child so that they cannot do it again or hit out. You may simply move them to the side of you and sit them on the floor. Then you can look after the child that was bitten by giving them the attention, comfort and sympathy. By giving the attention to the injured child you can teach the children that they will not get attention from you by biting. You can comfort the child that was bitten obviously at their level and in proportion to how badly they were hurt. You will inevitably find that the child that bit will stand and watch you looking after the other child and learn that biting is unwanted by your actions and words with the other child. Try not to use negative, belittling comments such as "oh you are a naughty boy, no one likes people that bite, we will have to wash your mouth out with soap", because you will likely make him feel more angry and make his unwanted behaviour worse.  After the child that has been bitten is alright you can then take the child that bit to one side and explain why it is not nice and what you want him to do next time he feels like biting which could be to come and tell you. Over 18 months  For children over 18 months that bite you can follow the guidelines above and use age appropriate discipline as in chapter 3 of A Parent’s Guide to Children’s Behaviour.