Over the years of working with parents, I have often had a conversation about trust.
They may have little or no trust in their children and this usually causes a rift between them, which over time erodes their relationship and causes a lot of stress.
Common trust issues include:
- Trusting children to be home on time.
- Trusting children to make good decisions.
- Trusting children not to take drugs.
- Trusting children to tell the truth.
- Trusting children to be careful.
“Trust is built in very small moments,” says best-selling author Brené Brown, PhD.
One way to build trust is to make the most of small moments, which Gottman refers to as “sliding-door” moments, that may seem unimportant but actually build or break relationships.
For example, if you are busy with daily chores and walk past your child who is sitting looking sad, you can either make the time to connect and ask how they are, or brush past in a rush hoping they will cheer up soon.
Sliding-door moments offer opportunities to tune into your child by turning toward their emotion with the intent to understand them and respond in non-defensive and empathetic ways
Tuning into your child’s needs builds mutual respect and shows trustworthiness between you.
Be mindful to tune into your child throughout your busy day and build on those sliding door moments and see how trust grows between you both.
If you have any questions, please leave your comments, it is good to hear from you.