HOW TO GET CHILDREN TO LISTEN

MINDFUL STRATEGIES THAT REALLY WORK

Today, we will talk about one of the most popular questions parents ask, and that is "How do I get my children to listen?"  

The truth is, they are ALWAYS listening, unless they're hearing impaired. The frustrating part for you is that they don't do what you've asked them to do. 

Okay, that's a mind shift in that your children ARE listening - they're just not responding. 

DON'T WORRY THAT CHILDREN NEVER LISTEN TO YOU - WORRY THAT THEY ARE ALWAYS WATCHING YOU

 TWO SIMPLE STRATEGIES TO GET YOUR CHILD TO LISTEN

1

BE PRESENT

This can be hard when you're trying to get the children out the door - you're in the kitchen - and they're upstairs. You're shouting for them to get ready. 

It's easy for them to tune out when you’re not physically present. Think about it - if they were shouting at you from across the house, it's easy to ignore it and think "Well, they will come and tell me face to face if they really want me." 

You need to be present. So go into the room, speak to them, and if they continue to ignore you, warn them that you will turn the TV off if they don’t give you their attention, or ask them to pause their game or whatever they're doing and pay attention. 

It's important that they look at you when you speak, ask for what you need, and then get confirmation. You will know they heard you if they say, "Okay, Mom." or "Yes, Mom." They might need coaching to do this. It's common to have to occasionally say to them, "Please say 'Yes, Mom,' so that I know that they've heard me, and then I won't have to keep repeating myself."

2

WAIT FOR THE RESPONSE

If you've asked your child to go and wash up and they say "Yes, Mom." You’ll want to see them put that into action. 

Give them a few seconds to go and do it, and ask them just once more. If they don't, then there needs to be some natural consequence. The natural consequence should be removing what they’re doing that’s distracting them from doing what you asked.

For example: Turn off the TV, games, or music they are listening to.

To help this to be effective, be mindful to put yourself in their shoes for a moment. If they are in the middle of a game or watching the end of a show, can it be paused, or would it be ok to wait for a few minutes? Compromise, depending on your child's age and the situation, to work together and encourage good communication.

Okay, so let's recap:

Get present - wait for confirmation - give one warning - then consequence

It's that simple. Shouting or nagging is not effective. And what can happen if your child is used to you shouting is that they won't do it until you shout. Because they know that's when you mean business. 

They’ll think, “I'm going to wait until you start shouting until I respond.“

So be consistent and use this with the other tips in the Parent’s Guide to Children’s Behaviour and see just how much better your child responds and listens to you :)

All the best,

Ruth