HOW TO BUILD RESILIENCE IN CHILDREN

For life's ups and downs

Would you like to see your child cope better with life's ups and downs? Do you want them to feel less stressed, be able to bounce back, and learn from difficult situations? If so, they might need help building up their resilience.

Resilient children have an emotional muscle that helps them tackle problems more effectively, and the have the mentality to transform everyday challenges into opportunities. 

They are connected to who they are and build strength from the inside rather than relying on others to have power over them.

In this post we’ll look at three effective ways you can help your child build resilience:

EMOTIONAL COACHING - CHALLENGINg NEGATIVE THOUGHTS -

DEEP BREATHING

1

Emotional Coaching 

Coaching children to understand their feelings is a vitally important skill to learn so they can manage their emotions constructively.  

For example, If your child comes home from school visibly upset, instead of dismissing his feelings or offering quick solutions, sit down with him and ask open-ended questions like:

"You look angry. Can you tell me what's bothering you?" 

"You look sad, what’s happened to upset you?"

"You look frustrated and tense, what's the matter?

"You look stressed. Is there anything I can do to help you?"

By acknowledging and validating their feelings, you're teaching them to manage their emotions constructively. 

They will feel heard and understood, and it will help them to learn to communicate effectively. Ultimately, we want our children to recognise these feelings and be able to come to you when they need support.

2

Challenging Negative Thoughts

We can use the power of mindfulness and self-awareness to help them reframe their negative thoughts into something more positive and helpful.

For example: Your child might start saying negative things about themselves and say they feel like they are "stupid" because they can't do their maths homework. You can guide them to challenge this thought by asking things like:

"Is this true? What evidence do we have?" 

"What makes you think you're stupid?"

"Is that mindset helpful for you to do your maths?"

You can help them reframe the thought to something more helpful, like:

"Maths is a subject you can improve on with practice."

"Tackle a section at a time and ask for help if needed."

This way they will learn to notice when they are thinking negatively about themselves and correct their mindset.

3

Deep Breathing Exercise

Children often get stressed around exam times, when starting new classes, or when finding something difficult. As a parent we know we can't always be there for them, so it’s helpful to give your child tools to cope themselves.

Deep breathing is the one thing children can always do that is very effective in calming their nervous system.

You can teach a simple deep breathing exercise to help them calm their nerves. Show them how to take a deep breath for a count of four, hold for four, and exhale for four. 

Repeat this a few times until they feel more relaxed.

Building resilience in children is a team effort, and you're the coach! 

Emotional coaching, challenging negative thoughts and deep breathing are three proven strategies to help children build resilience and become better equipped for life's ups and downs. 

Be consistent and use these strategies with the other tips in the Parent's Guide to Children's Behaviour  

See the impact they make on your child's life.

Keep it up,

Ruth