How my Childhood Inspired Me to HELP PARENTS
to Raise Happy Thriving Children
Welcome to my blog!
Today I’m sharing how my childhood experiences led me to become interested in understanding children’s behaviour and inspired me to want to help parents.
I hope my story gives you some insight into why I am passionate about the work I do and, most of all, why I believe that with the right tools, every parent can break negative cycles, create the relationship they want with their child, and help them grow up to be happy and thriving.
PART ONE: MY CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES
I first remember becoming interested in children’s behaviour at school when I was about 13.
My father had abruptly left home without a word to me or my brother after years of conflict and stress. He started a new life with another family and seemed not to look back, leaving behind a gaping hole that was impossible for me to fill. It was a time of emotional upheaval, anxiety and sadness that I couldn’t make sense of and it was never really talked about at home.
I remember one particular defining moment at school, staring out of the biology classroom door window into the corridor. Other students were laughing and smiling. I wondered why some children seemed to be happy and doing really well while others like me were not.
My biology teacher, Dr. Till, was frustrated with my friends and me for not paying attention to his annoying dissecting frogs lecture. He shouted at us that we were “GIT GIRLS.”
I guess he saw us as troublemakers or thought we were being silly and disruptive. Shaming students in the classroom was commonplace and did nothing to improve behaviour and made me even less interested in learning.
My school reports often said I could do better and I was easily distracted. Which was true.
Feeling not good enough and a failure became my normal. I masked it by being silly and laughing it off.
School life was stressful and anxiety-provoking, and home life had changed beyond recognition. My father was estranged, my mother had remarried, and I suddenly had four step-siblings—two girls sleeping in my bedroom that I didn’t get along with, and one was in the same classes at school and later in college. The family dynamic was difficult, and within a few years, we went from sharing a home with hopes of being one big happy family to becoming estranged.
I became more curious about people's behaviour.
Why do some children act out while others don't?
Why do some families thrive despite challenges while others struggle?
What actually makes the difference?
Why do some children get along with their parents and others don't?
When I left school, my career advisor told me the only thing I was good at was childcare. So, I trained as a nursery nurse. I loved working with children and found it easy to relate to them.
It wasn’t long before I noticed something familiar—the same difference in children that I had seen at school.
Some children, even those just a few years old, seemed to have their natural curiosity and innocence dimmed or taken away. You could see it in the sadness in their eyes and their behaviour. It was sad to see and I wondered how I could help them.
I could also see a familiar cycle and direct connection between the way their parents interacted with these children.
This was the beginning of my lifelong passion to understand children's behaviour—not just what they do, but why they do it. And more importantly, how we as parents and those who work with children can truly help to grow up happy and thriving.
PART TWO: Finding answers to break the cycle
Fast forward a few years.
I married young at 23 and was very happy in the early days. We raised our two children, and I poured everything into being the best mother and wife I could be.
Family estrangements and difficult close relationships have always been a normal part of both my husband’s and my family dynamics.
I wanted to find answers and break the cycle. I wanted to understand parenting and children’s behaviour, hoping I could do the best for my children, family and the families I worked with.
Educating myself.
In my late 30’s, I decided I wanted to better educate myself, so I could find the answers I was looking for and took a giant leap of faith and enrolled at The Open University to study part-time for a degree in Psychology.
At first, I found it difficult to even look my lecturers in the eye, I was so nervous. I battled constantly with the childhood belief that I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t capable, and wasn’t worthy.
I could learn mostly at home, at my own pace, which was slow—but steady. Despite having two or three jobs on the go, two young children, a husband, looking after my ill mother and managing two cats and a dog. I did it for myself and to hopefully inspire my children.
Through this process, I began to suspect I possibly had undiagnosed dyslexia which would have explained so much about the struggles I had at school.
It was a time of real very personal growth and learning.
7 years later.
I passed my Psychology degree with honours. It wasn’t without considerable challenges, but it was the start of me finding the answers I had been searching for.
Among many other things, I learned evidence-based theories and research about parenting styles, toxic family dynamics, communication styles, attachment theory, and the root cause of children’s behaviour.
My fueled my lifelong passion to understand children's behaviour—not just what they do, but why they behave the way they do. I realised that many children, like me, were dealing with challenges that were difficult for them to express, often linked to deeper emotional struggles. This led me to dedicate my career to helping parents navigate those complexities, break negative cycles, and build the strong, positive relationships they want with their children.
It became my mission to help parents recognise the signs, understand the root causes of difficult behaviours, and create a supportive environment where both parents and children can thrive.
PART THREE: CHILD BEHAVIOUR WAS BORN and Moving Forward
In part three, I’ll share in my blog how Child Behaviour Direct came to life, the challenges I’ve faced along the way, the truly amazing support I have had, the highs and the lows and how I am coming out of the most difficult part of the journey and moving forward.
I hope you’ll join me there!
Warm Regards
Ruth Edensor
